So very thankful

I have many things to be thankful for this year but the greatest thing in my life right now is:







Everything I do is for him and I wouldn't be where I am in life if he weren't here with me. I am also very thankful to all of the people in my life that help me be the best mom I can be to him. I may question myself some times and wonder if what I am doing is right by him, but then I sit back and really look at the whole picture and realize that he has a TON of people who really, truly care for him and they wouldn't be in his life if I didn't have the need for it. That makes me sad and thankful at the same time! I am glad we needed the extra help and I am glad that I have found such great people to love and care for Anthony.

Life

I am happy to report that all of the new arrangements have been working out well for us. Anthony seems happier now that he is in a home environment while I'm at work. He gets a lot more one on one attention now which I think is something he needed.

I am a lot less stressed when I go to work because I know he is in good hands. He really loves going there and I know he is treated well at each of the sitters' houses.

I keep going back and forth about keeping Anthony in pre-k. He enjoys it for the most part, but since I've been volunteering at his school (in a different classroom than his) I see just how chaotic it can be and just how little attention each of the kids gets. Kids generally get looked past if they are being good and the kids who act up get all the attention. I know, I know, it's like that in every classroom. Still.

It doesn't help that there is a kid in his class who beats up on him and calls him names repeatedly. At least once a week I hear a story about how the kid hit him in the head with a plastic rake or punched him in the stomach or called him a crybaby or stupid.

Last week, Anthony got in trouble at school because he finally punched the kid back after being punched twice and called a crybaby. He was so upset for getting put on yellow because of it (a behavior chart thing they have at school) that he cried for over an hour after we came home.

I don't know. He really likes school other than when these things happen. He always looks forward to going but I feel like crap for continuing to take him whenever I hear the stories about him getting hurt. :( I don't know. Maybe I just feel this way because I feel like I hardly see him? I wish this program were a half -day program like I originally thought it was.

More changes

All this week I was calling around to daycare centers trying to get Anthony into a before school program for Monday mornings. Well, apparently, no daycares offer part time before school programs and they want upwards of $120/week. For before school care.

HA.

So I was chatting with one of the moms at Anthony's school about my crazy schedule and daycare issues and she has offered to watch him on Monday mornings. :) She has a boy a week younger than Anthony and another boy that is 2. We got together at her house this morning to let the boys play and to chat a bit.

I am LOVING this arrangement. This means I won't have to take him up in the tower early in the morning until daycare opens -I can just schedule my break to go pick him up in time to drop him off at school.

Yea, Anthony is now going to be going to three different houses over the four days I work but I am going off the theory that "it takes a village to raise a child" and staying really optimistic about it. I think he will love hanging out at each of these houses and I think it will be good for him.

I just wish I would have found these ladies sooner. :)

Something I've been thinking about

On Tuesday, I went to Anthony's school for a 'volunteer orientation' where they gathered all of us who said we could volunteer our time and go over the things they would need us to do.

About 25 people showed up.

There are 34 classrooms of kids -over 600 students- in his school. Assuming at least half of the students live in 2 parent homes there should be something close to 1000 parents with kids in that school.

Out of 1000 parents, only 25 have the time to volunteer?

I find this very, very hard to believe.

Where is the parent involvement?

I can fully appreciate that many families have both parents working. I can fully appreciate that some stay at home moms may have younger ones at home they might not be able to find care for so they can go and volunteer. But, I also know there are plenty of parents who only have one child or who work odd hours or part time and can be available once a week for an hour or two. Where are they?

And why does this bug me so much?

It feels so good

Tonight, we started a new chapter book (The Magic Treehouse: Haunted Castle on Hallow's Eve) and while I said "We're only going to read two chapters tonight" at the beginning, Anthony kept asking for "One more chapter!" We ended up reading five and he was still begging for more.

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I had a conference today with Anthony's teacher and it went really well.

Anthony is at the top of the class academically. His teacher says about half of the class does well with writing letters but Anthony is the only one who is writing sentences. He is also the only one in the class who can pick up a book for the first time and read 90% of it without help.

I've been told that although they haven't had a reading assessment done, yet -one will be done half way through the year- he will most likely be the only one in his class on his level and that he will most likely join another student or two from other classes for reading groups. The fact that they are going to split kids up to join others who are on the same level excites me. Every week I learn something new about things this school does and they all have been good -it makes me feel good about my decision to put him into this program.

He has always been so eager to learn and I have loved feeding his appetite for it over the years. I just hope we can keep this momentum going throughout his schooling.

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This report comes on the heels of a report I got a couple weeks ago from two of the daycare workers that take care of Anthony. They say that he is the absolute best kid in that entire daycare. They were just gushing about how polite and smart he is. It really made me tear up.

I finally feel like I have been doing things right. Life has been crazy since he was born. I always worry how everything will affect him and wonder how messed up he will be because of everything that happens in his life. Roy has been in and out of his life, we've moved many times, but up until a year ago I had been a constant. And then last year everything came undone, uprooted, completely and utterly f'd up. And he had his rough moments. We all did. It's no secret that this past year has been brutal on all of us.

To hear that other people think that he is a great kid, see that he has manners, see that he is smart... it makes me feel good. It makes me think that I can do right by him, even if I am a single mother raising a boy.

Sighs of relief

I finally -finally- found someone to watch Anthony while I am at work. Well, two someones, actually.

One is a lady I met through a local message board. She'll be watching him on Friday and Saturday nights. We went to meet her on Thursday evening. She has a daughter a few months older than Anthony and they played well together while we talked. I am feeling very good about this arrangement. :)

The other is one of my co-workers. She'll be watching him on Sundays. I watch her son on Thursday nights so Anthony already knows her very well. :)

Mondays, he will be going to a different daycare center for before school and to pick up the bus to school.

I am just so fed up with this ghetto daycare he is in. The owner is rude and downright disrespectful. She has the nerve to complain about my schedule and the hours I bring Anthony to the center yet I am paying full price for part time care. I pay for 40 hours a week and now that A goes to school he only goes to daycare about 25 hours in a week. IF THAT! I never even asked for a price reduction! WTF is she complaining about?? Agh.

Next weekend will be his last weekend there and I am SO happy to be done with it! I feel bad for him a tiny bit because he has made some friends there and enjoys the teachers but the bad far outweighs the good about that place.

As it is right now I feel like he never gets a break. He is constantly around a ton of kids and I know it has got to be wearing on him. I think he will be much better off in a home environment over the weekend so he can relax a bit. :)

Man, this kid kills me.

Three accidents in 24 hours. Nothing that's really his fault but boy does he have bad luck.

First, he knocks over a can of paint upstairs (which apparently I didn't seal all the way) and gets paint all over his brand new clothes that he had just worn for the first time yesterday along with the carpet in one of the bedrooms. Instead of coming to me and telling me about the mess he'd made, he attempted to clean it up himself which only made the clean up worse. I tried for over 3 hours last night to get all the paint out and while I got most of it out of the shirt, and I think it would be wearable, the pants will now become "home pants" because there is no way I'm sending him to school with paint splattered jeans.

Then, this morning, he trips over his own feet while carrying his leftover breakfast to the garbage can and gets food all over his clothes requiring a wardrobe change.

Lastly, his thermos came open inside his book bag and leaked milk all over the place. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal because the only thing he usually has in his book bag is his lunch box. But no. Today was library day and he had a library book in there. The pages were all stuck together and in my attempt to separate the pages, the pages tore apart. The book is ruined.

I know, none of this is really a huge deal. I can buy another pair of pants, I can wash the clothes from this morning, I can buy a new book to give to the school. It just seems as though Murphy has been visiting us a little too much lately and I'd like him to back off.

Really?!

Anthony sat down with me this morning at breakfast and says "I'm going to say grace!" Then proceeds to pray over his food.

What

The

Hell?

I ask him where he learned that from and he says at his "little kids school" (the daycare).

If you didn't know by now, I am not a religious person. Generally, I am a very passive person about it. "Live and let live" -you know? But when people start indoctrinating my son it just burns me up. How do I bring this subject up with the daycare people? Do I bring this up with the daycare people? Do I risk them treating him/me like an outcast? Do I risk them being mean to him? Do I risk them ignoring my wishes just to spite me? Or do I just shut up and deal with it?

He is at such an impressionable young age. If he grows up and decides he wants to believe in a god, out of his own free will, I will be fine with it. I am not fine with people convincing him that things are true and forcing him to perform religious rituals when he doesn't have the mental ability to figure things out on his own.

This is on top of learning that he does the pledge of allegiance at his "big kids school" every morning and the part "under god" is included. I know I can't possibly be the only non-theist/non-Christian parent with kids going to this public school.

Crossing my fingers

I have been working very hard on getting down to the Orlando area.

My union representative just so happened to be in a class out in Oklahoma City with a supervisor from Sanford tower (which is my #1 choice!). The sup told him about a guy that is trying to move up into the Northeast so they exchanged numbers and I've been keeping in touch with the sup about once a week since then.

The controller from Sanford doesn't want to move to a lower level facility (Sanford is an 8, here is a 7). So it was looking like a dead end. :(

Then, last night I found a guy from Baltimore (level 9) that wants to move down here to my tower because he has family here and wants to live closer to them. So, I emailed him about a three way swap. Sanford guy goes to Baltimore, Baltimore guy comes here, I go to Sanford. He says it sounds pretty good. I talked with the sup this afternoon and planted that seed and he sounded really excited and thinks the controller from Sanford might take it. (He is from the DC area and Baltimore is really close AND a level higher than Sanford). So now I wait to hear back from the sup to see if the controller will take it.

CROSS YOUR FINGERS FOR ME! This may be it.

The only catch = When doing swaps, the controllers have to be certified for 1 year before they can swap. My 1 year is in May of next year so this won't happen until at least May BUT if I can figure it all out and get it set in STONE I won't care! Because all that matters is that I get there.

I am trying not to get my hopes up. I know that one (or both) of these controllers can flake out on the deal. But it is hard not getting excited about it.

All about ANTHONY! :)

Anthony's first week of school is done and I am pleased to say that it went well! Anthony loves everything about "big kids school". He loves walking to school in the morning, he loves bringing his own lunch, he loves dressing up for it, he loves recess time and he absolutely loved being able to pick a toy out of the treasure chest at the end of the week (because of his good behavior all week). When I pick him up from school he is just bubbling over the top telling me about all the things he did that day. I love that he is enjoying it.

Here are some pictures from last week.

Look, an airplane!

I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to my job. I can accept that. I get my thrills when I get a lot of traffic in a short amount of time. I like when my adrenaline starts revving up. I may even be an adrenaline junkie. I think controlling air traffic is fun and I enjoy doing it.

There are some people I work with who are anti-nerds; people who think it is stupid to get thrills out of anything to do with our job; people who put down people like me who actually enjoy it. They're just there to collect a paycheck and honestly, I think it's kind of lame. :P

A typical nerd conversation at work goes like this:

A: Have you worked Venus* lately?
B: No, not in a while. You?
A: Yea, it was here a few days ago and stayed for about an hour.
B: Cool! Was it the 7-5?
A: No, it was the 7-4.
B: Sweet. The last time I worked one it was just a Gulfstream. *said with a bummed look on his face*


*Venus is the call sign for all of the Presidential aircraft based out of the 89th Airlift Wing at Andrews AFB, Maryland. They come down several times a week and do practice approaches and touch-and-gos. :)

Welcome to my world of nerd-dom.

blah

This week has been a busy one for us. Monday, I started the registration process for Anthony's Pre-K program. Today, we went to orientation. Friday, Anthony gets his school physical.

Open house/meet the teacher night is in 2 weeks and then he starts school the day after Labor Day.

I found out that this program is NOT a half day program like I had read on their website. I am really bummed that now I really won't ever get to see him because of my work schedule and his school schedule. :(

I also found out that they won't bus him to/from the day care he goes to on Mondays and Fridays because he would be the only one at that stop. So, now I have to look for another day care that they WILL bus him to/from for before/after school care. This means he will be going to 2 day cares along with the school. Jeez.

I'm really starting to doubt whether I am doing the right thing by putting him in Pre-K. I know that it would be the only way he gets real school-type learning because the day care he goes to on the weekends is nothing but free time. Outside, inside with toys and TV. Too much TV. I feel like that place is dumbing him down because they don't do anything there. But I am hardly going to see him once he starts school. :(

I just... wish things were different for us.

The drive home

There are two main roads here that run parallel to one another. Whenever we get ready to go somewhere I will ask Anthony's opinion "Which way do you want to go today?"

Tonight, Anthony spoke up before I could ask the question and he said "Let's take the long way home!" which means going up one of the main roads, past the street we would turn on to go home, loop around a bit and grab the other main road or the highway (which also runs parallel to the two main roads) to go home. Really, it's just a waste of gas and time, but I love going on drives and I think I have rubbed off on Anthony a bit. :)

The drive sparked some interesting conversation. He talked about ghosts and how he could kill them if they were real because he is "a fierce dragon warrior". He talked about all the steps he would have to take to drive the car which then led him to gaze at the light panel and ask about the "jelly fish" (high beam light). Eventually, he decided that I must be lost so I just *had* to make a U-turn to go back home or else we'd be lost forever.

Little did he know we were already on the highway headed back home. :)

Our first chapter book!

A few days ago I decided I would try reading chapter books to Anthony at bedtime and see if he would get into them or if I need to hold off for a bit longer.

Our first book was "Magic Tree House: Dragon of the Red Dawn"



It was a huge hit! Now I am on a quest to find more Magic Tree House books for bedtime. :)

Mommy guilt #57

I used to be great at taking pictures of Anthony and of all the things we do together. I have slacked on it so much recently that I noticed and decided to take some pictures this morning. When I uploaded them to the computer I realized that these are the first pictures I have taken ALL MONTH. How did I let it go all the way to the middle of the month without taking a single picture?!

:(

Here are a couple recent ones (from last month and today).













He is becoming a pretty-boy. He likes styling his hair and picking out outfits that make him look "handsome". :)

On another note, I decided to delete the two most recent blogs because reading them again just makes me more mad. I am trying to stay out of that frame of mind as much as possible even though some days it gets the best of me. I am only human. :-/

The imagination of a 4 year old boy

We went to the park for a couple of hours this morning. Normally, there are other kids there for Anthony to play with but today it was just the two of us. I brought a book to read and told Anthony to use his imagination and play. :)

He played on the equipment for awhile, admiring all the spider webs and bugs along the way. Then, he wandered a bit and ended up finding a rather long stick and made up some games to play.

First, he said he was wearing a blindfold and hitting a pinata hanging from a tree. Then, he was a knight fighting evil dragons. Then, he was riding on a horse, jousting another knight. Then, he was on a hike up a dangerous mountain.

After a while, we decided to take a walk on the trail along the shoreline of the reservoir and then headed back to the car to come home. All in all, it was a very peaceful morning. I love days like today. :)

Accepted!

Anthony got accepted into the pre-k program! I am so happy for him! :)

Now, for some rants:

1. Anthony's birth certificate has been lost in the shuffle of everything. I have searched through what little is left here in the house and haven't been able to find it. Roy has looked in the few places we kept important documents (folders, the black box, etc) at his place. It is no where to be found. Last week, I ordered some from the Hawaii Department of Health but they haven't arrived yet. I have 2 weeks to enroll him in the program or his slot goes to someone else. *Cross your fingers that these new certificates arrive soon!! **I do have copies and I have a saved scan on my computer but -of course- they want the original!

2. When Roy did the change of address form, he did it for only his self. However, the post office has been sending everything with his last name to his new address. This includes any mail for me with his last name, and of course, anything with Anthony's name -to include the acceptance letter for the pre-k program. -Enter extremely angry pouty face here-

3. Well... I will save some more for another day.

The washer and dryer

(and freshly painted garage!)

The sofa!

Pre-K Evaluation

Anthony did the Pre-K screening this morning which just involved answering a few questions and picking the right pictures off of different pages (shapes, numbers, letters, descriptive pictures, etc). There were a few tough questions that I didn't think he would know but he surprised me! Out of 50 questions he missed 4. The teacher was really excited that he was able to answer most of the questions correctly and went over the top in praising me. It made me feel proud for my smart little boy. :) At the end of the session (which only took about 15 minutes) he was allowed to pick out a brand new book to take home! How cool!

Hopefully his high score won't keep him out of this program. It is the type of program that goes to the "neediest" kids -those who score the lowest- first and then fill on a first come/first serve basis. I hope he gets accepted. :)

Monday = My Friday!

Mondays are my early days at work.

A typical Monday for me includes waking up at 445am, getting us dressed and out the door by 515 and to work at 530. Of course, since daycare doesn't open up until 6 this means I bring Anthony with me, have him chill out in the break room and watch Sesame Street while I go through the morning "open the tower" routine. Then at 6 I scoop him up and bring him to the daycare. (I am not the only one at the tower in the morning so I promise I don't leave it empty!)

By the time we come home at 345pm I am flat out exhausted and *have* to take a nap. Last night I was smart and actually went to bed at 730pm so the exhaustion took a little longer to set in today. LOL!

After work, Anthony and I went to a local bounce house and spent an hour climbing, bouncing, running, etc. It was really fun but also really tiring. We grabbed some ice cream on the way home and then later on gave each of the dogs a bath outside and ended up turning it into a "spray each other with the hose" game. Fun! Exhausting!

Anthony has been in bed for about an hour now and I am on my way to mine. Tomorrow will be a busy day but not like today! I am so ready for my weekend!

New things for a new beginning

When Roy left, he took all of the furniture with him (upon my request). So, now I get to go out and buy all new stuff which has been kind of fun.

My new washer/dryer set was delivered this past Tuesday and I am in love. I bought the front loading kind and while I'm not thrilled that it takes longer to wash the clothes, I am loving how soft the clothes have come out. :)

Anthony and I went to pick out a new couch today -it will be delivered next Tuesday. I wanted something different than the standard brown/tan couch so I got this really modern looking white leather sofa. It is really comfortable. I am thinking about going back and getting the matching chair and ottoman so I can have a nice reading spot... we'll see.

The next thing on my list is an entertainment center/tv stand and possibly a new tv. Those won't be for a while, though.

Stay tuned for pictures.

Anthony

My schedule kind of sucks right now since I have no seniority at work and got stuck with Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as my days off. This means that I work 40 hours from Friday to Monday, two of those days I work at night. All of this is to say that finding someone to watch Anthony during the hours I work has been really, really difficult.

Currently, I have him in a daycare that doesn't have any type of schedule other than meal and nap times. No learning activities over the weekend -just free play, movies, and outside time. I am not happy with him spending so much time in front of a tv, but right now I have found no other option than this daycare. He seems to enjoy it and hasn't had any issues so far, so we are going to see if we can stick it out for a bit until I can find something that satisfies what I am looking for.

Recently, I have been worried about not being able to get him into a structured pre-school and that it would hurt him when he gets to Kindergarten. A couple weeks ago I found out about a pre-school program run by the public school system and decided I will try to get him into it. We have a screening appointment for it next Tuesday and then hopefully they will let me enroll him. I would prefer to have him in the program but if I cannot get him enrolled I have decided that I will home school him instead. The program is only a half-day schedule which would work out perfectly for us, I think.

I am also enrolling him in Karate. I was going to bring him back to Tae Kwon Do but he has decided he wants to do Karate this time, so that is what we will do. I'm sure if there were a Kung Fu option, he would want to go that route instead, seeing how much he is obsessed with the Kung Fu Panda movie lately! LOL

Here we go

Anthony and I dropped Roy off at the airport this afternoon so he could go back to Louisiana. All I could think was "Who knows when Anthony will get to see him again?"

I guess Anthony sensed that this goodbye was a lot different than any of the ones in the past. From the back seat I heard a very quiet "Mami, I'm going to miss Papi." It was said in that shaky, near crying voice that only comes out when he is extremely sad and upset.

My heart breaks for him.

I thought

I thought it would be appropriate to start a new blog to go along with this new chapter in my life. I can't bring myself to delete the old one, though. A lot has happened since I started the old blog. A lot has changed. Hopefully, I will keep up this blog and share the good, the bad, and the ugly... but hopefully mostly good.